Instant Karma

I can not remember which one of the multitude of role-playing games had the concept of instant karma. I believe it was the first edition of Shadowrun, however please do not hold me to that. In the game karma points are used to reward players for completing the adventure, good role-playing, and the like. These karma points could then be spent to improve the character or, in the case of instant karma, they could be spent during the course of the adventure to affect outcomes by either adding to the result of a die-roll or allowing the player to re-roll the attempt.

Sunday I got to see what I can only classify as instant karma in action.

I was hauling my butt over to Best Buy in order to engage in a little retail therapy. They were having a sale on a couple of DVD sets I wanted to buy (the 7th season of Smallville and the 1st season of Chuck) and, after thoroughly enjoying my weekend at Oni-con and finding myself laughing out loud at the first episode of Ouran High School Host Club (which can be viewed for free on the Funimation website), I decided it was time to delve back into anime and with the demise of Planet Anime, Best Buy seemed like the best place to go. It was with these thoughts of commerce in mind that I headed out. I generally do not use the freeways unless I am under a serious time constraint or my objective is truly the other side of town. This is not done out of a desire to avoid traffic or anything but rather because I really enjoy driving through the neighborhoods and shopping districts that are around my house. On this particular day I decided to take Binz/Bissonnet down to Buffalo Speedway before cutting over to Richmond. As I was heading up Buffalo Speedway and crossing the south-bound feeder for 59 some douche bag in a jacked-up pickup truck turned from the feeder onto Buffalo Speedway, cutting across two or three lanes of traffic and cutting me off, causing me to have to hop on the brakes.

At about the same time I hopped on the brakes, I hopped on the horn and gave the aforementioned douche bag The Bird.

Douchebaggins, as we shall now call this person, stomped on the gas and accelerated away from me, only to get caught at the light at Richmond where, as fate would have it, we were both turning left. My favorite cock-hobbit once again swung across all the lanes of traffic in order to beat everyone (read: no one) in to the far right lane. As we approached the light at Edloe, El SkiDouche was pulling the douchiest of maneuvers and riding in two lanes. Apparently unsatisfied with just the far right lane he felt the need to ride MOSTLY in his lane and a little in the lane to his left. There was a little swerving involved here as well which, had the vehicle in question NOT been a lifted-to-the-heavens truck, might have indicated the driver was trying to decide whether to stay in the right lane and get stuck in the line of traffic which was waiting at the red light or get in the left lane and skip around said traffic.

I could only watch in amusement as Herr Doktor Douche (of the Long Island Douches, I believe) started to slow just an INSTANT before he slammed in to the rear end of a car waiting at the red light. As I drove past, three lanes to the left, I saw bits and pieces of lights and bumpers spread across the ground and the douche shaking his head after it bounced off the airbag which had, I can only think, violently deployed and pimp slapped him into wakefulness/sobriety.

Now I can not tell you the number of times I have been driving, seen some no talent ass clown driving like this and wished that I was some sort of undercover or off-duty cop so I could drop a little bit of F-U into their lives for being a bad person and in my impotent rage I often think of how nice it would be to see this person get theirs, as it were but this is the only time I can think of where I have had the honor AND privilege to see karma in action*. Only later did two very important things occur to me. First, while karma might have gotten El Douche, the person/s in the other car may have just been innocent bystanders AND odds are that the truck did FAR more damage to the car than the car did to the truck. Second, by relishing the moment I am just tempting fate and that cannot be a good thing. Oh well.

* I have heard a couple of very good stories about karmic payback being a bitch, one of which involves this guy, V, his tent, a friend of mine who shall remain nameless and a WILDLY inappropriate menage a trios.

High Kick Girl Trailer

This has been making the rounds on the internet for a little while now however it is too perfect not to share:



I will pose to you the same question Chris Sims, noted face kickery expert, posed to me:

Best movie ever?

Half Man, Half Sausage

So the other night I was watching An Evening with Kevin Smith 2: Evening Harder and then the guy pictured with the mic asked, "If you were half man, half sausage which way 'round would you have it and why?"

The only reason I wanted to post this, besides being a BRILLIANT fucking question which I am going to have to unleash on someone at a Q&A (I suspect it might be Barry Eisler on his next book tour), is because of the look on this guy's face:

It struck me as being some where between "I can't believe he asked that" and "fucker stole my question." This thought amused me and I thought I would share with the world.

Best Christmas Post EVER.

Read it and weep for all the holiday joy it contains. Seriously.

God Goes in to a Pub

Thanks to Norm over at onegoodmove.com.

Kitumba Teaser Poster Released

Some months ago it was announced that the next episode of Star Trek Phase 2 to go before the camera was going to be John Meredyth Lucas' "Kitumba" which is a Klingon-centric script which centers around the Enterprise travelling to the Klingon home system on a secret mission. You can read a very brief synopsis of the script at Memory Alpha and a much longer one in the now out-of-print Star Trek: Phase II - The Making of the Lost Series, a book which is a fascinating read even without the episode synopsis'. The production team has released the teaser poster created by Jeff Hayes of PlasmaFire Graphics and I thought I would share with you:

You can d/l an approximately 8.5X11 version of the poster here.

This Morning

This was the view from my bedroom this morning:

I love being in the mountains!

I Can't Think of Anything to Add

From here.

Rain Fall Trailer is Here

Finally the trailer for the forthcoming Rain Fall movie, based on the excellent debut novel by Barry Eisler has hit the net. You can peep it at the official movie site.

I am of two minds about this movie. I am a little concerned that the production seems to be primarily a Japanese production as I feel this will make any stateside release a fairly limited affair. On the other hand I am glad this is a Japanese production. While the main character, John Rain, is half-anglo, he had plastic surgery in order to appear more Japanese and therefore it only makes sense that a Japanese actor be cast to play him. The list of Japanese actors who are even somewhat familiar to U.S. audiences is fairly slim. Ken Watanabe springs to mind immediately due to his parts in "The Last Samurai," "Batman Begins," and "Letters from Iwo Jima." After that the only names that spring to mind are Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, whose most memorable role to me came in 1993's "Rising Sun," and Ken Takakura who would be most familiar to American audiences as either Uchiyama, the manager of the Dragons in "Mr. Baseball" or the Japanese cop Masahiro in "Black Rain." As much as I love Takakura's performances in these movies and keep meaning to track down some of his Japanese films, at the age of 77 he might be a little too old to plain John Rain. While John Rain is no spring chicken, he is deadly in hand-to-hand combat and a P-I-M-P to boot so I have trouble seeing Takakura in this role.

Beyond casting concerns there is the question of language. John Rain is Japanese as are the VAST majority of the supporting characters in this first novel. To my mind they need to be speaking Japanese to one another rather than English. I know that due to my long-running anime fandom I am FAR more comfortable with subtitles than probably 95% of the general movie-going public, but to have Japanese characters speaking English to one another always creates a disconnect for me. I think one of the best things about "Letters From Iwo Jima" was the fact that the movie was shot using spoken Japanese.

Anyway, that is quite enough from me. Regardless of who made the flick I am excited to see the trailer and hoping that this will get some sort of release stateside.

"Enemy: Starfleet" Teaser

Here is a quick teaser scene from the forthcoming Phase 2 episode "Enemy: Starfleet"



This is the episode I was fortunate enough to work on this past June and I am SOOO looking forward to seeing the final product!

In this bit Alersa is played by BarBara Luna. While I was on-set I had the unique privilege of being Luna's (she insists we call her Luna) assistant for the duration of her stay. One of the very first things I did after I was assigned as Luna's PA was run lines with her. This was the scene we were reading through and it was very difficult for me to keep a straight face when I came to the line, "Call me...Jim." I also had to fight the urge to Shatner the line up. Doesn't it just beg for a Shatner-esque delivery?

Super Drunken Christmas

Honestly, I can not think of many better ways to spend it!



This is from Rocket K, a Japanese punk band I recently discovered due to their cover of The Buggles new wave hit "Video Killed the Radio Star." Sadly the only place I can find their video for that is on their MySpace page and I am having trouble accessing MySpace at the moment. In stead of that let me offer you these:

First, the original video in all of its circa 1979 glory:



Second, a video from the Ethermusic festival in 2005 of Jon Bernhardt performing "Video Killed the Radio Star" on a theremin:



Mmmmm. Theremins are the musical equivalent of bacon; they make everything better!

I hope you're having a Merry Christmas and enjoying whatever makes you happy!

Chrsitmas Gifts from Me to You

Look! I got you a couple of things for Christmas!

Now what could possibly top an entire CHANNEL on YouTube dedicated to all the crunchy goodness that is Monty Python, you ask?

Well, my friends, only this:


That's right! George Lucas' magnum opus is now available to view FOR FREE on Hulu. Isn't this the bestest Christmas EVER!

Star Trek: Phase 2 Update - 12-22-08

The Phase 2 team has finally released the first part of "Blood and Fire" to the general public. I had the opportunity to see a rough cut of this episode when I was on set this summer and as much as I enjoyed the episode then, I REALLY enjoyed watching the final cut after I downloaded it last night.

• You can access the official download page here. This has several download options available.
• Here is Anthony Pascale's review on TrekMovie.com. The review is spoileriffic and this continues in the comments.

This episode has generated quite a bit on controversy in fandom due to the inclusion of gay crewmen and I have to say that while I did find the scene between Peter and Alex a little too long, I know it pays off in part two of the episode. And the bloodworms? Ewwwww.

In other Phase 2 news, they released an official DVD ISO for their third episode, "World Enough and Time" which features the return of George Takei to the role of Hikaru Sulu. Written by Michael Reaves and Marc Scott Zicree, the script was nominated for the SFWA Nebula award, a nomination which caused some controversy (you can read more about that here). Additionally the episode was nominated for a Hugo award and won the T.V. Guide Online Video award beating out such professionally produced shows as the BSG webisodes. In the beginning Phase 2 would release high-quality DVD ISOs of the episodes for download however there was a problem with people d/l'ing the episodes and then selling DVDs at cons. Since this practice could put the agreement between Phase 2 and CBS/Paramount the powers that be at Phase 2 decided to stop releasing the DVD-quality ISOs. This is a pleasant return to days of yore and one that I hope is here to stay.

• You can access the official download page here.

"With or Without?"

I had no idea this existed until the main Marmot himself posted about his brother's screenplay ending up on the list.

Congratulations Kevin!

I have to say that the summary of Kevin's screenplay, "The Phantom Limb," sounds rather interesting:

A troubled private detective uncovers a blackmail scam involving a gangster who
runs a brothel that caters to amputee fetishes (and other taboo sexual
interests) and the doctor who performs the body modifications.

Sounds like my favorite bit from "Romeo is Bleeding" taken to the extreme. And when I said interesting I mean truly messed up in ways that only the best 1970's neo-noir stories can be. I really hope this ends up making it to the screen.

In addition to "The Phantom Limb" there are a shit-ton of other movies on this list. Here are some of the titles that jumped out at me as being either worthy project or in need of a little mocking:

"Inglorious Bastards" - Quentin Tarantino + World War 2? YES PLEASE!

"Galahad" - I am a sucker for anything having to do with Arthurian Legend.

"Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates" - Apparently this is based on a book which could not possibly be as good as the movie I am seeing in my head right
now. A possible sequel title? "Fierce With Pigs" in which the main characters
set out to violate their strict Hebrew upbrining by eating bacon.

"Roundtable" - Comicdom's Brian K. Vaughn + Arthurian legend? Mmm, mmm good.

"The Amazing Adventures of the Monogamous Duck" - Who gives a flying rat's ass what this is about, the title alone is worth the price of admission.

"The Gary Coleman - Emmanuel Lewis Project" - I know this is supposed to be a place-holder title however I REALLY think they need to leave this as the title
for the film. I like to think of it as the Alan Parson's Project for the new
Willenium.

"Your Dreams Suck" - Nothing to say here except ain't that the truth?

"47 Ronin" - I am happy that this particular story is getting remade for a more
mainstream audience although I suspect this will have trouble living up to the
example set by "Chushingura" however I have heard that this is being
envisioned as a Keanu Reeves vehicle. Really? Please don't. Seriously.

"Samurai" - Sticking with the whole Japanese theme this sounds like it could be
fun. Hope it is done as well as this year's "The Forbidden Kingdom."

"Untitled Channing Tatum Project" - Okay from time to time these untitled
projects have unintentionally funny names, for example see the Gary
Coleman-Emmanuel Lewis entry above, however most of the time JUST ASSIGN A DAMN TITLE TO THE PROJECT.

House Cleaning

I have been needing to make some changes around here for some time but have never really managed to do it for some reason. (Read: Because I am lazy.) Over the next few days I am going to be trying a couple of different templates as well as cleaning up all the crap on the right side of the blog.

KANEDA!

Thanks Wil!

Consequences of Gay Marriage

more music charts

From graphjam.com via Wil Wheaton.

Blood and Fire Trailer

The Star Trek: Phase 2 crew has finally set a release date for the first part of their next episode Blood and Fire. The script for Blood and Fire, of BaF as it is referred to, was originally written by David Gerrold* for Star Trek: The Next Generation however TPTB decided that certain facets of the story were too controversial for Star Trek and thus the script was never produced. The Blood and Fire script lensed by Phase 2 was significantly expanded and altered to set the story in Kirk's time and take advantage of the expanded cast present in the Phase 2 world. I had the privilege of watching rough cuts of both parts of BaF and you are in for a treat when part 1 hits on December 20th. Here is the trailer for part 1 of David Gerrold's Blood and Fire:

For more about this episode you can check out these links:

• Here is a selection of behind the scenes photos from the shoot.


• Here is a report on the showing of the rough cut at the Shore Leave convention in July.


• Here is a link where you can download the first four minutes of the episode.

* David Gerrold is best known in Trekkie circles as the author of the classic episode The Trouble with Tribbles however his award-winning novella The Martian Child hit the big screen as a feature starring John Cusack last year. I HIGHLY recommend The Martian Child. At least the movie, I have yet to read the book.

So there I was...

...walking back to my building from hitting the ATM and getting a salad at the Post Oak Grill when I noticed the big sign at the end of the hallway just before you enter my building had changed. At some point in the not to distant past it had been changed from something promoting the El Paso volunteerism program called "Sharing Team El Paso" to a promotional display for our corporate wellness program called "Choose Well." In fact it was changed to this graphic:


Being the self-centered twit I am, I could not help but notice that center picture inset at the bottom. Here it is, enhanced for your viewing pleasure:


Mother of god. There I am.

Back in January had you told me by the end of the year I would be on some promotional material promoting a wellness and fitness program in any other capacity than "Don't be this fat fuck," I would have told you that you were clearly insane and have suspected that Rob and Scott were plotting something. Here we are a year later and I have gone from tubby bitch to this:


Yeah, I still don't get it either.

On this subject it has been some time since I posted about my diet and this seems as good a as time as any to mention that I have met my goal of loosing 100 pounds, actually 102 as of last Friday. It feels awesome to have actually accomplished this and I will admit that when I stepped off the scale on Friday I had to sit down and have a little bit of a cry.

The Morning After

So one of my friends posted this as her status line on Facebook not too long after the election was called for Oabama:

...decides to brush up on her marxist theology in preparation for January, comrades.

Now I understand not liking Obama for his politics however no one has been able to successfully explain to me how anything Obama has said or done is any more socialist than what the Bush administration has actually done in the past month?

Please explain in the comments and use small words as I am apparently quite daft.

Before you go I would like to point out a couple of thoughts and data point which you may wish to consider:

1. From the OH SNAP! Department comes Alan Mendelowitz's bon mot which he dropped at the New America Foundation's forum Confronting Economic Meltdown. "The Bush administration, which took office as social conservatives, is now leaving as conservative socialists." Allan Mendelowitz is a member of the BoD and former chairman of the Federal Housing Finance Board, a former executive director of the U.S. Trade Deficit Review Commission, and a former executive vice president of the Export-Import Bank of the United States. I suspect he knows whereof he speaks.

2. Adam Smith, in his seminal work on economics Wealth of Nations said:

The necessaries of life occasion the great expense of the poor. They find it difficult to get food, and the greater part of their little revenue is spent in getting it. The luxuries and vanities of life occasion the principal expense of the rich, and a magnificent house embellishes and sets off to the best advantage all the other luxuries and vanities which they possess. A tax upon house-rents, therefore, would in general fall heaviest upon the rich; and in this sort of inequality there would not, perhaps, be anything very unreasonable. It is not very unreasonable that the rich should contribute to the public expense, not only in proportion to their revenue, but something more than in that proportion. (Book 5, Chapter 2, page 14)

Was Adam Smith, cited by many as the father of modern economics, a socialist? Here he is clearly championing the same sort of "redistribution of the wealth" championed by President-elect Obama. Before you answer I would take the time to read the balance of Smith's magnum opus.

3. Inevitably someone is going to bring up the 2001 interview Barack Obama did with Chicago public radio in which he used the phrase "redistributive change" and makes clear that he endorses the redistribution of wealth by the government. Before you do I would go and read this piece by David Bernstein who concludes that, "Barack Obama is undoubtedly liberal, and his background is in political community organizing in poor communities. Is it supposed to be a great revelation that Obama would like to see wealth more "fairly" distributed than it is currently?" And the goes on to ask:

It's true that most Americans, when asked by pollsters, think that it's emphatically not the government's job to redistribute wealth. But are people so stupid as to not recognize that when politicians talk about a "right to health care," or "equalizing educational opportunities," or "making the rich pay a fair share of taxes," or "ensuring that all Americans have the means to go to college," and so forth and so on, that they are advocating the redistribution of wealth? Is it okay for a politician to talk about the redistribution of wealth only so long as you don't actually use phrases such as "redistribution" or "spreading the wealth," in which case he suddenly becomes "socialist"?

Now I can understand if you are of a Libertarian bent and feel that ANY tax is a plan by the dirty commies to crap up your free market paradise and you need not weigh in here, but for those of you that think SOME taxes are a good thing, and I will assume this is most of my audience as I think most of you like police protection, the military, roads, and, hey, even getting to vote. (If you don't like these things then I would hope you can at least see the need for them.)