Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Waffle House is ON NOTICE!

I REALLY like me some Waffle House breakfast food. While it is not the Kettle Breakfast o' Doom* which I would consume during my exile to College Station, the Waffle House does serve up some tasty, tasty foods. Thus I make it a point to eat breakfast there at least once when I am in Galveston for breakfast. As I usually stay in the Super 8 right behind the Waffle House this presents no problem and due to proximity I will usually eat breakfast there both days. This past weekend I ended up in the Sandpiper Motel which feels like it is at the far end of the island, and therefore I only made it in for breakfast on Sunday. They are usually pretty busy on Sunday so I went ahead and took a book with me to read while I waited. When I got to the Casa de Waffle there were only two groups of people ahead of me. "Awesome," I thought, "there should not be much of a wait." I settled into a chair, which, as it turns out was right next to the LARGEST WOMAN I HAVE EVER SEEN (and I do not mean large good but rather large holy crap that's a lot of chubby). She was at the jukebox complaining about the lack of Patsy Kline when I walked in which is why I had no idea I would end up next to her. It being Galveston she was also in her bathing suit and a King sized sheet sarong (And boy was it wrong). SHUDDER This was almost enough to put me off my feed however it is completely not part of the rant so lets get back on point, shall we?

So I sit down and start reading my book (Summer Knight by Jim Butcher for those of you who care about these things) and as I predicted the two groups are quickly seated. I glance around and note that there are a few people who look like they might be leaving shortly and I am next up. Three chuckleheads walk in. One of the parties leaves and the rather portly black lady who was working the floor (boy howdy does that sound wrong) said she was going to bus the table and, "…then I can seat y'all." This should have been my first warning sign however I am an elitist pig and took no notice of her use of a plural when it was clear I was not plural. She bussed the table. As she approached us, they were standing a little in front of me an to the left, I closed my book and stood, only to watch in amazement as she seated the chuckleheads. What the fuck? I literally stood rooted to the spot for a second in disbelief with my mouth open. I was already headed towards the door when she indicated she was ready to seat me. I told her not to worry about it as I was going to go somewhere else. There was then an exchange about me sitting at the counter, which I HATE doing as the stools are not built for someone of my height leaving me VERY uncomfortable, and I pointed out to her that I was leaving because she had decided to seat the chuckleheads before me. Her response was, "They were here before you." To which I replied, "No, they weren't." (My mind added, "I've been sitting here since you seated the family of Patsy Kline loving cetaceans over there." But I did not say this because I am a nice guy and that would just be rude.) She responds with, "Well you should have told me." To which I responded with nothing but a look of utter disbelief. I did not, and do not, have to words to express how dumb of a statement this was, to my mind. YOU, Aunt Jemima, are supposed to be the highly trained food service commando here and keeping track of which person was there first is pretty basic stuff. On top of that you had already said good morning to me when you seated the dwarf star to be sitting at the four-top over there. I don't like doing the job I get paid for (this is purely on principal because I am a tortured artist and stuff) I am sure as heck not going to do your job for you!

Then, as I walk out, the cherry on top of everything else, is Mrs. Butterworth wishing me a blessed day as I leave. Oh HELL no! You do not get to assuage any guilt you might feel about being a complete fucktard when it comes to doing your, lets face it here people, incredibly simple job by being all Christian and wishing I have a blessed day. It was all I could do to stop from turning around on her and telling her exactly where she could stick her blessed day in exacting and excruciating biological detail. I walked out and went to the Dutch Kettle** instead.

Now under normal circumstances this would not have ticked me off so much however in this case there were three things going on:
  1. The last time I was in this Waffle House the exact same thing happened except that I took it like a good consumer and did not fuss.
  2. I had taken my supplements about 30 minutes earlier. If I do not get food on top of them in about 30 minutes I get a little twitchy and irritable.
  3. I was already having a bit of a crap day as I was fighting dust and crap on my camera's sensor and I could not get it clean.
The end result of all this is I am drafting a letter to the manager of that particular restaurant because when I am pissed writing letters makes me feel better AND I will never go in to that Waffle House again. Which saddens me to some degree because I REALLY like Waffle House.

Here is the text of the letter I sent this morning:

April 29, 2008


Waffle House
2825.5 A 61st Street
Galveston, TX
77550


To Whom It May Concern:

I am writing to inform you of a situation I encountered in your restaurant this past weekend which has forced me to decide that I will no longer patronize your establishment. Now before I go into the specifics I want to say that I very much enjoy the food and atmosphere at all of the Waffle Houses I have ever been in. So much so that when ever I am in Galveston I make it a point to have at least one meal at your restaurant. Invariably, in the past, the staff has been professional and friendly, even on days where they are swamped.

This brings us to what happened this past Sunday. I arrived at the restaurant sometime after 10 in the morning. I brought a book with me as I have been in this particular restaurant on Sunday morning before and had a bit of a wait. I certainly do not mind waiting to be seated at restaurants, particularly ones that I quite like, but I thought I would go ahead and be entertained rather than just stare at the walls. There were two groups already waiting when I arrived and they were quickly seated. While I was waiting for another place to open up a group of three young men entered. As soon as a table opened up the hostess seated them, completely ignoring me. I am 6’3” and over 250 pounds so I am not easily overlooked or lost in a crowd. I had closed my book and was in the process of standing when the hostess approached the group so, to give her the benefit of the doubt we might assume she thought I was part of the group. I was absolutely stunned as this EXACT thing happened to me the last time I was in your establishment.

To be honest I was so surprised by this happening again that it took me a couple of moments to collect my wits. I informed the hostess, who was now attempting to seat me, not to bother as I would be going somewhere else for breakfast. When asked why I told her my reason to which she responded that they had, in fact, arrived before me. Once again I was caught off-guard as the hostess had acknowledged my presence after she had sat the two groups which were waiting before my arrival. At this point I should have just left however one of my character flaws is that I feel the need to have the last word. I, very politely considering the circumstances, pointed out that they had not arrived before me. At this point a simple apology would have sufficed. Had the hostess just admitted she made a mistake everything would have been fine but rather than do this she informed me that it was somehow my responsibility to inform her that they had not arrived before me. At this point I left. I was already hungry when I arrived and did not have a rational response to her idea that the customers are supposed to police themselves. In a perfect world this idea has merit, however as we have all been on the road with our fellow man I think we know in practice this devolves to foolish optimism.

I have never worked in food service however I have had several close friends who have, up to and including being the general manager of several restaurants, therefore I do have some understanding of stress under which wait staff operate. I am willing to give the benefit of the doubt in most cases. There are so many things which can go wrong and are completely out of their control. I understand this and am willing to overlook quite a bit however what I do not tolerate is poor service. I have now experienced what I would consider VERY poor service at your establishment twice in my last two visits.

Once is a mistake. Once in a while is a mistake. Twice in a row is something else entirely. The first time I just took it like a good consumer, operating under the assumption that it was a mistake. After all it was Sunday morning and the place was busy. The second time? Something else entirely. If your restaurant has a policy of seating groups before individuals during peak hours then the hostess should explain the policy to me. At which point I can make my decision on whether to stay or be treated as a second-class citizen. I think it is pretty clear what would happen had this been this case. Regardless of the cause for the poor treatment, the fact remains that on my last two visits to your restaurant I have received very shoddy treatment and therefore I will no longer be patronizing your establishment.


Sincerely yours,


I sent a copy to the corporate headquarters as well. I will let you know what, if any, response I receive.



* The Kettle Breakfast o' Doom (tm) is an omlette with American cheese, bacon, ham, and chili, an order of hash browns, three pancakes, and an order of corned beef hash. No, I have no illusions about why I am overweight, why do you ask?

** The Dutch Kettle was okay.

Monday, April 28, 2008

LOLJamez

I has a problem.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Fat Fuck vs. Food - Week 12

I almost forgot what week I am on. Heck, I might have messed it up anyways. Enough blathering, lets get down it, shall we?

This morning I was tipping the scales at 263 pounds which is a loss of 3.6 pounds over the past week AND a total loss of 57 pounds. Just when I typed that it hit me how much weight I have actually lost. I find myself having those moments here and there. For example yesterday as I was getting back in my work clothes after my workout and shower I caught a glimpse of myself out of the corner of my eye. I was wearing some khakis I purchased last weekend (more on that in a minute), a shirt I really like, and I had just gotten my hair cut on Monday. The first thought that came in to my mind was, “Damn. I look GOOD.” I cannot tell you how long it has been since I have felt that way about my reflection in a mirror. As a general rule I HATE full-length mirrors because they do a great heaping amount of damage to my self-image. The person I saw in the mirror was SO not the James that I see in my head. (The James I see in my head is, well, I think this just about sums it up (NSFW for language) ) I’m still not there yet but this is the first time I have not had to work myself up to thinking I look good.

Now about the pants. One of the things I had to do last week was pick up some new pants. I had put this little shopping trip off for as long as I could but it was finally time. Even with a belt I would have to walk around with a hand in my pocket to prevent any Chick Magnet-esque incidents. Most of my pants were a 46 waist. ALL of the pants I bought were 42’s with the exception of one pair of 40’s. While I fit into the 40’s they were a little more constricting than I like my pants and the pockets on a couple of the khakis I tried on stuck out as pockets are wont to do when the pants are just a little too small. I can’t remember the last time I bought something smaller than a 44 so this felt awesome. In fact it felt so awesome I bought more pants than I planned. This morning as I was getting dressed after my workout I noticed something about the 42’s I chose to wear this morning. There is already a little play in the waistline and I need to wear a belt with them. Damn that was fast.

I know I had something else I wanted to share. Oh yeah! A couple of the ladies in the office have called me out on loosing weight. The manner in which they have brought it up just cracks me up because they are so nice and circumspect about it and concerned that I might be offended that they noticed. These couple of instances have really provided a boost!

Now as it is the end of April, well the last weigh-in day for the month anyways, it is time to set my goals for May. I once again succeeded in meeting my goals for the month, the high goal to be down to 265 or below. For May my goal is to hit 250 pounds and be done with this phase. I have five Fridays in May with which to work. Since I only need to loose 13 pounds to get to my goal this means that I can only loose 3 pounds each week and still make my goal and 3 pounds is still below my average weight loss per week so I think this is very doable.

Again thanks for all your support and putting up with this stuff! I REALLY appreciate it more than I can say.


Friday - 4-18-08
The Drink
1 Yoplait yogurt
1 serv. Metamucil
1 serv. Kefir
1 serv. Whey protein
3 peices of a large Papa Johns Spicy Italian pizza
1/2 order of cheese sticks
Chips and queso
2 beef and bean burritos
Refried beans
Rice
Iced tea (no sugar)
45 minutes on the elliptical

Saturday - 4-19-08
The Drink
1 serv. Metamucil
2 serv. Kefir
1 serv. Whey protein
Egg & Bacon kolache
Sausage & cheese kolache
Lemonade
Bacon Cheeseburger
Fries
1 serv. fat free chocolate pudding
11.5 oz. Spicy Hot V8
Medium salad with chicken chunks and ranch
1 piece of a large Papa Johns Spicy Italian pizza
Helped Don move

Sunday - 4-20-08
The Drink
1 serv. Metamucil
4 pieces of a large Papa Johns Spicy Italian pizza
Tazo Giant Peach Green Tea
1 serv. fat free chocolate pudding
11.5 oz. Spicy Hot V8
Medium salad with chicken chunks and Ceaser dressing

Monday - 4-21-08
The Drink
1 serv. Metamucil
1 Yoplait yogurt
11.5 oz. V8
Medium salad with 1/2 hard-boiled egg, ham, turkey, and Ranch
1 bottle Tsing Tao beer
General Tso's Chicken
Egg Drop Soup
Rice
45 minutes on the elliptical

Tuesday - 4-22-08
The Drink
1 serv. Metamucil
1 Yoplait yogurt
11.5 oz V8
Medium salad with 1/2 hard-boiled egg, ham, turkey, and Ranch
1/4 box Fried Rice Chicken Helper
Asparagus
1 serv. fat free chocolate pudding
45 minutes on elliptical

Wednesday - 4-23-08
The Drink
1 serv. Metamucil
1 Yoplait yogurt
Medium salad with 1/2 hard-boiled egg, ham, turkey, and Ranch
11.5 oz V8
1/4 box Fried Rice Chicken Helper
Asparagus
1 serv. fat free chocolate pudding
45 minutes on elliptical

Thursday - 4-24-08
The Drink
1 serv. Metamucil
1 Yoplait yogurt
2 Tuna salad sandwiches
Medium salad with chicken chunks and Ranch
11.5 oz V8
45 minutes on elliptical

Friday, April 18, 2008

Fat Fuck vs. Food - Week 11

Man I just don't know how to start this week's entry in the Shrinking Tales of a Shrinking James. Since I passed the 50 pound mark this week I wanted to make some Hawaii 5-0 jokes but I just can't make any of them work. Of course it doesn't help that I keep getting Hawaii 5-0 and Magnum P.I. confused in my head. Oh well. Let's just get to this week's report, shall we?

In an interesting turn of events I am concerned that I might have lost TOO much weight last week when I dropped 5.2 pounds. This brings my weight down to 266.4 pounds and puts my total weight loss at 53.6 pounds. In addition to passing the 50 pound mark this week I also dropped below 267.5 pounds, which means I am more than three-quarters of the way to 250. In fact I only have 16.4 pounds to go!!

One of the tasks I have this weekend is to go shopping for some new pants. I am to the point where all of the pants I currently own are too large, almost clownishly so. I can't carry my wallet, iPod, and cellphone in my pockets without keeping on hand in another pocket to ensure things do not go south on me. Even the 44's I have are too big and I cannot remember the last time I went shopping for pants that were smaller than a 44 waist. This is pretty exciting stuff!



Friday - 4-11-08
The Drink
1 serv. Metamucil
1 Yoplait yogurt
Banana
1 can Cherry Coke
5 slices of large Papa Johns Spicy Italian Pizza
Cheese Sticks
Med. Salad with chicken chunks and Ranch
11.5 oz. Spicy Hot V8
45 minutes on elliptical.

Saturday - 4-12-08
The Drink
1 serv. Metamucil
1 Yoplait yogurt
3 Tacos Pastor
1 Taco Barbacoa
Med. Salad with chicken chunks and Ranch
3 slices of large Papa Johns Spicy Italian Pizza
1 piece Angel Food cake with whipped cream and berries
6 hours of yard work.

Sunday - 4-13-08
The Drink
1 serv. Metamucil
2 serv. Kefir
1 serv. Whey protein
4 Jack-in-the-Box tacos
1 piece Angel Food cake with whipped cream and berries
Med. Salad with chicken chunks and Ranch
7 hours of yard work.

Monday - 4-14-08
The Drink
1 serv. Metamucil
1 Yoplait yogurt
Med. Salad with chicken chunks and Ranch
11.5 oz. V8
1/4 box Chicken Jambalaya Chicken Helper
Asparagus
45 minutes on the elliptical
Walked 4+ miles

Tuesday - 4-15-08
The Drink
1 serv. Metamucil
1 Yoplait yogurt
Med. Salad with 1/2 hard-boiled egg, turkey, ham and Ranch
11.5 oz. V8
1/4 box Chicken Jambalaya Chicken Helper
Asparagus
45 minutes on the elliptical
Walked 3+ miles

Wednesday - 4-16-08
The Drink
1 serv. Metamucil
1 Yoplait yogurt
Small Greek Salad
Dinner Roll
1/2 chicken breast
1/4 box Chicken Jambalaya Chicken Helper
Asparagus
45 minutes on the elliptical

Thursday - 4-17-08
The Drink
1 serv. Metamucil
1 Yoplait yogurt
Med. Salad with chicken chunks and Ranch
11.5 oz. V8
Beef and Vegetable Soup
45 minutes on the elliptical

Friday, April 11, 2008

Fat Fuck vs. Food - Week 10

You know how you discerning folks know how its Friday? Because Friday is Fat Git update day! (And there was much rejoicing.)

For some reason I am having trouble getting rolling on this email today. I don't know why because I still have nothing to report except good news. I lost 4 pounds over the last week which brings me down to 271.6 pounds and puts my total loss at 48.4 pounds since I started this thing in February.

Since I am a big nerd I went ahead and did the hated maths to figure out the following (by "did the hated maths" I mean wrote the simple Excel formulas to figures this stuff out):

1. This is an average loss of 4.15 pounds per week. This ignores the first two weeks I posted losses. I believe the 9.2 pounds and 6 pounds I lost those weeks were statistical anomalies and would throw the number off.

2. The 48.4 pounds I have lost represents 15.13% of my starting weight of 320 pounds.

3. As of this week I have lost 69.14% (insert air guitar here) of the 70 pounds I want to initially loose.

Looking at all this information does two things. First it makes me really happy with where I am. Second it makes me think that I can actually hit my goal within a reasonable amount of time. When I got started on this I was expecting to have to fight this all year, and I will continue the good habits I have developed once I hit 250, however if my weight loss stays at 4 pounds per week I should be seeing 250 a week or two before Flipside. (No, I am not going, just thought that date would make more sense to people.) Not bad for what will have been just about four months worth of work.

Then I can start exploring the territory below 250 to see where I can end up. Suddenly 220 is not looking like an unattainable goal.

While I was writing this missive Gmail decided to throw the following links at me in the Sponsored Links area. They make me giggle so I thought I would share them with you:

http://www.how-to-get-rid-of-man-boobs.com

http://www.truthaboutabs.com

God I love Google ads some days.


Shall we delve into the "Holy shit, you ate THAT?!?!?!" list for the week? And fair warning, Friday is pretty grim.

Friday - 4-4-08
The Drink
1 serv. Metamucil
1 Yoplait yogurt
1 cup Orange/Tangerine juice
Chicken Teriyaki
Tazo Giant Peach Tea
Boiled cabbage with bacon bits
Fried rice
2 egg rolls
Bowtie pasta with mushroom stroganoff sauce
Spaghetti with a olive oil, pepper and parsley sauce
Chocolate and caramel tart with Bailey's ice cream
More snacks than you can shake a baby at
45 minutes on the elliptical

Saturday - 4-5-08
The Drink
1 serv. Metamucil
1 cup Orange/Tangerine juice
2 serv. Kefir
1 serv. Whey protein
1 Yoplait yogurt
Medium salad with 1/2 hard-boiled egg, ham, turkey and Ranch
Walked 5+ miles.

Sunday - 4-6-08
The Drink
1 serv. Metamucil
1 cup Orange/Tangerine juice
2 serv. Kefir
1 serv. Whey protein
Iced tea (no sugar)
Philly cheese steak
Fries
1 pint Guinness
Medium salad with 1/2 hard-boiled egg, ham, turkey and Ranch
11.5 oz. Spicy Hot V8
Walked 4+ miles

Monday - 4-7-08
The Drink
1 serv. Metamucil
1 cup Orange/Tangerine juice
1 Yoplait yogurt
2 Tuna salad sandwiches
Medium salad with chicken chunks and Ranch
11.5 oz. Spicy Hot V8
45 minutes on the elliptical
Walked 4 miles.

Tuesday - 4-8-08
The Drink
1 serv. Metamucil
1 Yoplait yogurt
11.5 oz. V8
Medium salad with 1/2 hard-boiled egg, ham, turkey and Ranch
1 Apple
Bowl of egg drop soup
General Tso's Chicken*
Rice
Iced tea (no sugar)
45 minutes on the elliptical

Wednesday - 4-9-08
The Drink
1 serv. Metamucil
1 Yoplait yogurt
Asparagus
1/4 box Jambalaya Chicken Helper
Medium salad with chicken chunks and Ranch
11.5 oz. Spicy Hot V8
45 minutes on the elliptical
Walked 6+ miles

Thursday - 4-10-08
The Drink
1 serv. Metamucil
1 Yoplait yogurt
Medium salad with chicken chunks and Ranch
11.5 oz. V8
Beef and vegetable soup (Korean style, awwww yeah)
45 minutes on the elliptical


* There is a joke about General Tso and The Colonel in here but I can't quite get to it right now. I will have to ruminate on this.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

BOOK REVIEW - Storm Front

Storm Front (Book 1 of the Dresden Files)
Jim Butcher
ROC, 2000
322 pages

Like many I came to the Dresden Files by way of the short-lived television show on Sci Fi. Actually I did not even bother to watch the show on Sci Fi but rather downloaded the pilot episode via iTunes (for free) and watched it while processing data at the office. While there were some interesting concepts in there I felt the show pretty much sucked out loud and thus was done with the Dresden Files. Then I stumbled across an off-handed comment in a post* on Ragnell's Written World which indicated the sucktacular TV show was actually based on a series of books. This piqued my interest a little bit as Lisa (Ragnell) indicated she liked the books and as she has good taste in these matters I thought they might be an interesting read. Ultimately I did nothing about it because my life is already choked with tons of reading I am not getting done and the last thing I needed were more books around the house. Some time after that I ended up discussing the series with a good friend of mine who tends to have impeccable taste. (This statement ignores his love for premium tequila which will forever remain a mystery to me as all tequila, I don't care HOW good it is, tastes like ass.) He highly recommended both the Dresden series and, even more enthusiastically, Butcher's Codex Alera series. This made me even more interested in the books but again I came back to the point that I already have way too much media around the house waiting for me to consume. Finally as I was scouring the Murder By the Book website for any news of a Barry Eisler signing I noticed that Jim Butcher was going to be doing a signing in the immediate future. As I am callow and all about getting stuff signed so I walked over to the store and picked up Small Favor, the most recent Dresden book, as well as Storm Front, the premiere Dresden book. My objective was to read Storm Front on Sunday so I could know SOMETHING about the man and his writing before getting the chance to meet him.

Thanks to a late night and a somewhat liberal attitude towards what some call working hours I managed to succeed in my appointed task.

A task, as it turns out, which was very pleasant. After reading the first novel I could see why people are such fans, but I am getting ahead of myself here. For those of you who do not know, the Dresden Files all feature the adventures of wizard Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden in his capacity of wizard-for-hire and occasional consultant for the Chicago PD. In his novel debut Harry is called in to look into a grisly double-murder where the victims hearts were ripped from their chests while they are in the midst of making the two-backed beast. At almost the exact same time he is asked to track down a missing husband who might have been monkeying around with dark magic before he went AWOL. Along with all that Dresden becomes entangled with "Gentleman" Johnny Marcone, the capo di tutti capi of the Chicago underworld who is interested in keeping Dresden on the sidelines for this particular investigation. Above and beyond all this Dresden labors under the Doom of Damocles, a stricture handed down by the White Council which puts Dresden in a precarious place when researching magic of this magnitude. Having burdened our hero with enough baggage, Butcher then allows the true fun to begin.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book, so much so that I went ahead and purchased the second and third book in the series at the signing and am already WELL into the second book and I am probably going to be a little Dresden-centric until I can tear through the series. I find I really enjoy long series as it allows me to move in to the author's world, become acquainted with it and then settle in comfortably. Many series reach this point and then POOF you reach the final book and the characters and world with which the reader has become so familiar with are never heard from again. Having said this, there are plenty of series and worlds which have over-stayed their welcome (I'm looking at you Dragonriders of Pern). Keeping an ongoing series interesting, challenging, and yet comfortable for the reader has to be an enormous challenge, part of which Butcher trims away by firmly grounding his novel in the mystery/thriller tradition which has become more prevalent in fantasy novels as the genre sometimes called urban fantasy. By utilizing the police procedural as a broad setting for the Dresden novels, Butcher gives the problems faced by his characters a sense of urgency which goes beyond that conveyed in his prose as well as providing readers who may be unfamiliar with fantasy tropes an easy way in to the world he has created.

Boy howdy this place needs an editor. That last paragraph was pretty much everywhere. Let's try again, shall we?

I highly recommend the book. Butcher seamlessly blends elements from several genre's in these novels and them dips them in a coating of geek-friendly wit. If you dig my sense of humor than I think you'll dig these novels.


BONUS CONTENT TIME (aka OMGPONIES!!1!!)**

1. To illustrate how much of a geek Mr. Butcher is I can only offer this. He showed up to the signing wearing a Sunnydale t-shirt. In fact it was THIS Sunnydale shirt, or its cousin.

2. During the Q&A session, which ended up being the entire thing as Butcher does not have a little spiel he gives and foregoes a reading in the hope his fans can read***, he told the story of how Bob came to be. Before this story is funny you have to understand two things. First Bob is some sort of spirit that has been imprisoned in a skull. Bob has been around for several centuries and provides Dresden with an immense library of magical knowledge and experience from whence Dresden can draw when needed. You may find yourself wondering WTF Dresden is doing with a talking head and why doesn't he use a computer like a normal person? Well he's a wizard, you twit, and this brings us to my second point, that being that wizards cannot use electronic devices without wrecking havoc upon them. The secret origin of Bob, who is nothing more than a floating head, is a bit funnier and demonstrates the level of smart-assery Butcher likes to embrace. There comes a time in every story where you need to drop some exposition on your audience. This is done with varying levels of competence but it almost always comes off as a bit boring. Perhaps the worst way exposition happens "on screen" is when one character begins with, "As you know..." The audience is immediately thinking, "If the character already knows then WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TELLING HIM AGAIN YOU NINCOMPOOP?" Often there will be one character whose entire point is to offer the exposition necessary to advance the plot, or, as I like to call it, whip a little science on the audience's collective ass. The Austin Powers movies handled this character by naming him Basil Exposition and thus poked fun at the characters which seem to be particularly prevalent in the spy genre. During the writing of what was to become Storm Front (its original title was Semiautomagic which just reeks of teh awesome) Butcher had to find a way to explain the rules of the magic system he was developing for the novels without having a character revert to the Basil Exposition School of Exposition. Butcher already had the character of Bob in his head when he was discussing this problem with his writing teacher at the time whose advice was to be sure to not make the character just a talking head, or a character who does nothing but spout exposition and leave. Butcher's mind being what it is took that and gave us Bob as he appears in the novels. A literal talking head. Named Bob.


* I am too lazy to track down the post but I believe Lisa was discussing the Arthurian overtones present in some of the books. It has been a while since I read the post.

** I can't believe I just did that.

*** While I understand where he is coming from, I actually really enjoy hearing an author read their own work. It gives me an idea of how the characters talk in the author's head which adds a layer to the character the next time I am reading.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

My Houston - To Nan's And Back Again

Recently the master moderator on the Star Trek New Voyages Phase II forum posted statistics on where visitors to the website and forum were coming from. This led to a "challenge" to the forum members to post pictures showing where they live. Being somewhat vain and proud of my admittedly limited photography skills I wanted to post a good picture of Houston taken by moi but what to shoot? What is Houston? Do I take a picture of the skyline and submit that? Certainly some people will recognize this as Houston however Houston is SO much more than just downtown.

What do people think of when they think of Houston? I imagine most people will either think of the Astrodome or NASA, specifically Johnson Space Center. I could certainly go take pictures of the Astrodome, now o'er shadowed by the Reliant Center or I could drive down to Clear Lake and take some pictures of the Saturn V and other rockets there. These options also seemed like pandering to the crowd a little, showing them what they expect Houston to be. Of course there are the things in Houston that very few natives would think about, like the San Jacinto Monument which sits on the battlefield where the Texans under Sam Houston defeated Santa Anna's army and won independence for Texas. Houston is the Galleria. Houston is the Museum of Fine Arts Houston. Houston is Jones Hall. Houston is River Oaks. Houston is the Fifth Ward. Houston is so many different things I honestly had no idea what I should share. I was about to give up on the project when it occurred to me that I should show these people what Houston is to me. Where do I like to go? What do I love about Houston? Thus this intermittent series titled "My Houston" was born.

The pictures in this first installment were all taken as I walked too and from Nan's Games and Comics, Too, my local comic shop. The walk is just a bit over four miles and over the past couple of months I have gotten in the habit of walking over there on Saturdays to pick up my books. Now shall we head out?


(Click on the photo to launch the Flickr photoset.)

Friday, April 04, 2008

Fat Fuck vs. Food - Week 9

Boy howdy is this post late!

Usually I am so excited about my progress that sending the email is one of the first things I do in the morning however today I was not feeling the excitement AND I had to do some work. We'll have to see about that second one. A man does have his limits after all. As for the first one it is because I was a little disappointed when I stepped on the scale this morning. I only have myself to blame but between going a little off the eating plan this week and, lets face it, unrealistic expectations on my part, I was disappointed when I tipped the scale at a ballerina-esque 275.6 pounds. I REALLY wanted to be down to 275 this week because that weight represents 45 pounds lost and for some reason that became important in my head this week.

I am not discouraged by the result by any stretch of the imagination, after all this still represents a loss of 3.2 pounds over the last week which puts it right around my average weekly weight loss. What I am trying to do is come up with a reasonable weight loss goal for April. I blew my March goal out of the water, having told my boss that I was aiming for 280 but would be satisfied with being at 285. I think my goal for April will be to get below 265, which would be a total loss of 13.8 pounds for the month, however I will be satisfied with being at 267.5 pounds. You might be asking yourself why such an odd number? Well at 267.5 pounds I will have lost 52.5 pounds or, in other terms, three-quarters of the 70 pounds I am trying to loose. On top of that I am expecting my weight loss to stall a bit around 264 as this represents a 20% reduction in body weight since I started my program. I have heard apocryphal evidence to support that weight-loss will stall at the 20% mark however I have not seen, nor gone looking for, any science to back this up. Though lets face it, I have NEVER let lack of actual evidence slow me down when forming dumb opinion on something so why should this be any different?

Last week I went on about a shirt I was able to wear again for the first time, which got me thinking about the shirt I am currently wearing. Just to give you an idea of how large the shirt is, it is one of my Cubavera shirts which I bought at Casual Male XXL. The shirt is a 3XLT (that triple-extra-large tall for those of you who wear things like M or GrrANIMALS.) When I started this whole process I would wear the shirt to work but would have to unbutton it before I sat because my gut was pushing the buttons to the ragged edge of their gut-retention limit. Now I am sitting in my chair, slouching down and I cannot get the front of the shirt to pull even a little bit when I pooch my gut out. This is really cool. And my posture as I attempt this must be doing WONDERS for my back. Stop now? Okay, I think I might.

On a final note, in the wake of last week's update a TON of people both reassured me that these emails were not unwelcome AND told me that my process has provided some inspiration to them to deal with some of the same issues I struggle with throughout this process of getting healthier. After reading some of the responses to last week's update I went through and actually re-read the email. As I was reading it what was funny to me when I wrote it just came off as passive-aggressive emo-whine which was not my intent at all. I went in search of teh funny and wound up at teh emo. I think I'll go listen to some Fallout Boy now thank you very much. I mean sorry 'bout that. Also to everyone who noted I have inspired them in some way? You have NO idea how awesome that makes me feel. Thanks for letting me know.



Friday - 3-28-08
The Drink
1 serv. Metamucil
1 Yoplait yogurt
1 Banana
Tazo Organic Iced Green tea
Bacon cheeseburger
Fries
2 egg rolls
Iced tea (no sugar)
Bacon cheeseburger
Fries
40 minutes on the elliptical

Saturday - 3-29-08
The Drink
1 serv. Metamucil
1 Yoplait yogurt
2 hot dogs
Chicken and green chilis
Rice
Refried beans
Peach cobbler with whipped cream
Lemonade

Sunday - 3-30-08
The Drink
1 serv. Metamucil
1 Yoplait yogurt
Chicken fried steak
Broccoli and rice casserole
Fries
1/2 order of bacon cheese fries
Iced tea (no sugar)
11.5 oz. V8
Med. salad with ham, turkey, Ranch, and 1/2 hard-boiled egg

Monday - 3-31-08
The Drink
1 serv. Metamucil
1 Yoplait yogurt
1 cup Orange/Tangerine juice
Chips and queso
2 Chili rellenos
Charro beans
Iced tea (no sugar)
Spicy beef and kimchi stew
Rice
40 minutes on the elliptical

Tuesday - 4-1-08
The Drink
1 serv. Metamucil
1 Yoplait yogurt
1 cup Orange/Tangerine juice
11.5 oz. V8
Med. salad with chicken chunks and Ranch
Spicy beef and kimchi stew
Rice
45 minutes on the elliptical

Wednesday - 4-2-08
The Drink
1 serv. Metamucil
1 Yoplait yogurt
1 cup Orange/Tangerine juice
1 Banana
Med. salad with 1/2 hard-boiled egg, ham, turkey, and Ranch
11.5 oz. V8
Spicy beef and kimchi stew
Rice
45 minutes on the elliptical

Thursday - 4-3-08
The Drink
1 serv. Metamucil
1 Yoplait yogurt
1 cup Orange/Tangerine juice
Lg. nachos with beef, beans, and Jalapenos
1 Tortilla
Med. salad with chicken chunks and Ranch
11.5 oz. Spicy Hot V8
45 minutes on the elliptical

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Old Negro Space Program

This is a brilliant little production was produced for a Nebula in 2006 however was disqualified as it was not professionally produced. It is definitely worth a look. Beware the harsh language: