TRON v. Depeche Mode

I found this video while cleaning up my backlog of unread posts at io9 and thought it was worth sharing with those of you who might not read io9.

Go Forth and Waste Time

Looks like I am in for a busy week both at the office and at the casa so here are some links to keep you occupied until I can get back to writing something of substance:

Now I have heard of mash-ups in the music scene (speaking of which the Best of Bootie 2008 CD is available for download here) and with movie trailers and the like, however I have NEVER heard of taking, oh, for example, a classic video game and a classic rock band, throwing them in the proverbial blender and seeing what comes out the other side but that is EXACTLY what the kids over at Shitbagz.com did. Taking the awesome that is Asteroids, a video game which I can still spend hours sucking at, and the awesome that is Van Halen, and I mean Dave "I'm Just a Gigolo" Lee Roth Van Halen and not the crap fest that was Sammy Hagar Van Halen, they have come up with Assteroidz - The Diamond Dave edition. There is really nothing else to say except go forth and play before, as Wil says, some asshat with no sense of humor serves the creators with a cease and desist.

Meanwhile over on the east coast Kevin has been experimenting with what the kids call user-generated content. First he asks his readers to come up with one-sentence pitches for existing franchises. Then he asks his readers to create a solicitation for a trade paperback collection which fills a void in the current crop of trades. Both of these comment threads are well worth reading and contain some comedy gold. And for the record I would shell out my hard earned shekels for the Hitman Omnibus, Essential Shang-Chi, and this Inspector Gadget series. Oh, and this.

While we are on the comics tip, check out this promotional clip for the soon to be taking over the world Watchmen:



I will cop to being far more excited about this movie than I should be considering I only JUST got around to reading the comics last year. So far everything I have seen and heard coming from the production crew on this movie does nothing but make me more excited to see this movie. As for it being THE unfilmable comic book? Well personally I do not buy the idea of a work being unfilmable since the very act of adapting a novel/comic/doodle in to a movie transforms the work in to something completely different. Of course there are going to be people who think Zack Snyder has failed or has done something wrong, however I am looking forward to seeing this movie and my desire to see it is divorced from whether I like the comic or not.

Now back to the salt mines!

Big Man Japan

This looks truly horrible awesome and I hope it is coming to a theater near me!

Here is a slightly different trailer:



And here is the German trailer:



Or should that have been heer?

High Kick Girl Trailer

This has been making the rounds on the internet for a little while now however it is too perfect not to share:



I will pose to you the same question Chris Sims, noted face kickery expert, posed to me:

Best movie ever?

Rain Fall Trailer is Here

Finally the trailer for the forthcoming Rain Fall movie, based on the excellent debut novel by Barry Eisler has hit the net. You can peep it at the official movie site.

I am of two minds about this movie. I am a little concerned that the production seems to be primarily a Japanese production as I feel this will make any stateside release a fairly limited affair. On the other hand I am glad this is a Japanese production. While the main character, John Rain, is half-anglo, he had plastic surgery in order to appear more Japanese and therefore it only makes sense that a Japanese actor be cast to play him. The list of Japanese actors who are even somewhat familiar to U.S. audiences is fairly slim. Ken Watanabe springs to mind immediately due to his parts in "The Last Samurai," "Batman Begins," and "Letters from Iwo Jima." After that the only names that spring to mind are Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, whose most memorable role to me came in 1993's "Rising Sun," and Ken Takakura who would be most familiar to American audiences as either Uchiyama, the manager of the Dragons in "Mr. Baseball" or the Japanese cop Masahiro in "Black Rain." As much as I love Takakura's performances in these movies and keep meaning to track down some of his Japanese films, at the age of 77 he might be a little too old to plain John Rain. While John Rain is no spring chicken, he is deadly in hand-to-hand combat and a P-I-M-P to boot so I have trouble seeing Takakura in this role.

Beyond casting concerns there is the question of language. John Rain is Japanese as are the VAST majority of the supporting characters in this first novel. To my mind they need to be speaking Japanese to one another rather than English. I know that due to my long-running anime fandom I am FAR more comfortable with subtitles than probably 95% of the general movie-going public, but to have Japanese characters speaking English to one another always creates a disconnect for me. I think one of the best things about "Letters From Iwo Jima" was the fact that the movie was shot using spoken Japanese.

Anyway, that is quite enough from me. Regardless of who made the flick I am excited to see the trailer and hoping that this will get some sort of release stateside.

Chrsitmas Gifts from Me to You

Look! I got you a couple of things for Christmas!

Now what could possibly top an entire CHANNEL on YouTube dedicated to all the crunchy goodness that is Monty Python, you ask?

Well, my friends, only this:


That's right! George Lucas' magnum opus is now available to view FOR FREE on Hulu. Isn't this the bestest Christmas EVER!

"With or Without?"

I had no idea this existed until the main Marmot himself posted about his brother's screenplay ending up on the list.

Congratulations Kevin!

I have to say that the summary of Kevin's screenplay, "The Phantom Limb," sounds rather interesting:

A troubled private detective uncovers a blackmail scam involving a gangster who
runs a brothel that caters to amputee fetishes (and other taboo sexual
interests) and the doctor who performs the body modifications.

Sounds like my favorite bit from "Romeo is Bleeding" taken to the extreme. And when I said interesting I mean truly messed up in ways that only the best 1970's neo-noir stories can be. I really hope this ends up making it to the screen.

In addition to "The Phantom Limb" there are a shit-ton of other movies on this list. Here are some of the titles that jumped out at me as being either worthy project or in need of a little mocking:

"Inglorious Bastards" - Quentin Tarantino + World War 2? YES PLEASE!

"Galahad" - I am a sucker for anything having to do with Arthurian Legend.

"Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates" - Apparently this is based on a book which could not possibly be as good as the movie I am seeing in my head right
now. A possible sequel title? "Fierce With Pigs" in which the main characters
set out to violate their strict Hebrew upbrining by eating bacon.

"Roundtable" - Comicdom's Brian K. Vaughn + Arthurian legend? Mmm, mmm good.

"The Amazing Adventures of the Monogamous Duck" - Who gives a flying rat's ass what this is about, the title alone is worth the price of admission.

"The Gary Coleman - Emmanuel Lewis Project" - I know this is supposed to be a place-holder title however I REALLY think they need to leave this as the title
for the film. I like to think of it as the Alan Parson's Project for the new
Willenium.

"Your Dreams Suck" - Nothing to say here except ain't that the truth?

"47 Ronin" - I am happy that this particular story is getting remade for a more
mainstream audience although I suspect this will have trouble living up to the
example set by "Chushingura" however I have heard that this is being
envisioned as a Keanu Reeves vehicle. Really? Please don't. Seriously.

"Samurai" - Sticking with the whole Japanese theme this sounds like it could be
fun. Hope it is done as well as this year's "The Forbidden Kingdom."

"Untitled Channing Tatum Project" - Okay from time to time these untitled
projects have unintentionally funny names, for example see the Gary
Coleman-Emmanuel Lewis entry above, however most of the time JUST ASSIGN A DAMN TITLE TO THE PROJECT.

Star(t) Trekkin'

Over the last few weeks the Paramount publicity machine has been indicating that the veil of secrecy surrounding the JJ Abrams helmed re-boot/imaging/wtf-ever-we're-not-calling-it-this-week of Star Trek was going to begin to slip a little. All this is being done in order to build up to the release of the first full trailer for the movie which is going to be attached to the new Bond flick hitting theaters November 7th. (This news has moved the Bond flick from the "maybe I'll make it to the theater to see this movie" to "I guess I'll go either Saturday or Sunday." I am also hoping there will be a Rain Fall trailer attached to the movie but I suspect that is still going to be a Japan-only thing for a while.) The first major step in peeling back the veil was a release of several pictures to several different websites including UGO, AICN and TrekMovie.com. The second step was a cover story in the issue of Entertainment Weekly which should be hitting the stands today.

I think we all know what is really going to happen as this veil is pulled back for the fans.

That's right.

Let's get ready to RAMPAGE!

Okay, maybe there was too much build up here because I really just want to cut to the chase. I thought it would take a little time for a fan to go for the most obscure canon complaint possible. Boy howdy was I wrong. It took less than a day for someone to go FTW on this one; and I quote, "I just realized, doesn’t Captain Kirk have hazel eyes? Did they decide he didn’t look good with contacts on."

I was hoping to have a little fun with this but seriously? Four comments in and we're already talking about the color of Kirk's eyes? Oh Trek fandom how I underestimated your powers. I promise it will never happen again.

Also, for the record, I am TOTALLY looking forward to this movie and am firmly planted in the, "Let's wait and see how it is before we get the torches and pitchforks," camp.

At the car wash...

...whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Well now THAT song is stuck in my head and I have no one to blame but myself but I am sure if I work at it I can dig up and ex-girlfriend or something to blame.

The more sane amongst you might be wondering just what in the hell would make me think about that song. Well, mon ami's, it is this video. (Which I cannot seem to embed right now so you'll just have to click through to view the most glorious thing you will see this month.) Come back here once you have viewed the video.

Now that we're all back in our seats let's talk about the "Inverse Ninja Theory" which states the effectiveness of ninjas is inversely proportional to the number of ninjas present, or to put it in less tortured questioned using enhanced interrogation techniques English, the more ninjas present the more they suck. Because I am a sad man who has FAR too much time to wonder about these things I have always wondered what would happen if you put said ninjas on roller-skates what would happen to the equation. Now I am finally able to solve for x.

And x equals AWESOME.

(As a somewhat interesting aside the music in the above clip comes from Mike Oldfield's Ommadawn. My uncle made a dub of this album for me back in the late '80s and I listened to the tape until it broke however I never knew the artist. One night I was watching a "classic" porno, the title of which escapes me at the moment, and heard this music. Through the powers of the internets I was able to track down the title and artist and have subsequently added the CD to my collection. And my mom said nothing good could come from watching porn.)

Old Negro Space Program

This is a brilliant little production was produced for a Nebula in 2006 however was disqualified as it was not professionally produced. It is definitely worth a look. Beware the harsh language:

MOVIE REVIEW - 5 Centimeters per Second

5 Centimeters per Second: A chain of short stories about their distance.
(Byosoku 5 Centimeter)
Makoto Shinkai, director
101 minutes
2007

Shinkai's follow-up to 2004's The Place Promised in Our Early Days (Kumo no Muko, Yakusoku no Basho) is another examination of the themes of love and distance explored in his 2002 piece Voices of a Distant Star (Hoshi no Koe) (I review the manga here) however in this work the distance covered is not interstellar but rather the distance of time which, in some ways, is a greater gulf to cross.

The piece is broken down in to three separate stories, all centered around Takaki Tono. The first story, Cherry Blossom Story, is set in the 1990s. After the end of elementary school Takaki's friend Akari moves out of Tokyo and while the two keep in touch via letters, Takaki knows they are slowly growing apart. When Takaki's parents tell him they are moving to Kagoshima, on the southern island of Kyushu, he decides to go and visit Akari before the opportunity slips away. A train ride that should have only taken a couple of hours is turned in to a journey of epic proportions by a snow storm. Takaki finally arrives hours late and the two spend the night together (not in that way, it is not that sort of anime). They share a kiss and then Takaki has to head back to Tokyo, longing for Akari and yet knowing that they will continue to be pulled apart by time and distance.


The second story, Cosmonaut, is set on the island of Tanegashima, the site of the Tanegashima Space Center. Here we see Takaki in high school with a not very secret admirer, Kanae Sumita. Told from Kanae's point of view, this chapter is about her love for Takaki and her confusion about what she wants to do with her life. Kanae struggles with her desire to tell Takaki how she truly feels about him and then, on the day she decides to tell him, she realizes that Takaki has always been looking at something in the distance and never really saw her. She decides she will love Takaki but she cannot tell him and that night cries herself to sleep.

The final chapter, 5 Centimeters per Second, is set in 2008. Takaki is a computer programmer in Tokyo however he still longs for Akari. Akari is preparing for her upcomming wedding. One day Takaki sees a familiar face at a train crossing. He turns to see if it is Akari but a train comes and blocks his view.


I found the entire piece to be very moving and powerful, and much like Voices of a Distant Star Shinkai had me crying as the world pulls his star-crossed lovers apart. There is something universal in the unrequited or impossible love and despite the cultural differences I am able to identify with his characters. The emotional impact of the stories is heightened by the score which is usually a solo piano playing a very simple tune.

While the genius of Shinkai's work is his characters and their ability to get the viewer emotionally invested in them very quickly, his work is also incredibly beautiful. The spaces in which the characters move are sometimes more important that the characters themselves and contribute to the story in a way that few anime directors embrace.

I cannot find the right combination of words to express how strongly I feel about this piece except to tell you that it is one of my top five anime's of all time, a list inhabited by only one other director, Miyazaki. Check it out as the U.S. DVD release is tomorrow, March 4th.