Morning Wood

There was a period in my life where I thought being a radio disc jockey (that DJ for you whippersnappers out there.) I suspect part of this had to do with the fact that I was tragically uncool when I was younger and I was, unlike today, uncomfortable with my tragic unhipness and in my somewhat limited world view it seemed like being a DJ was about the coolest job to which I could aspire. I mean these people get to talk to rock stars and they only have to work like four hours a day and they get to play whatever music they want! How much cooler could your job be? Of course at some point the scales fell from my eyes and I discovered I was pretty much wrong on all counts and thanks to the likes of Psycho Robby I learned that DJs and their sidekicks are not particularly cooler than me. And that goes double now that I am in touch with my inner rock star. (He typed while listening to Les Miserables.)

I thought about this particular job aspiration this morning when writing an email to Scott. He, and many before him, get kicks out of titling emails “Morning Wood” a play on my last name, the time of day these emails are usually sent, and certain stiffness some men get right around wake-up time. These jokes don’t bother me at all, but I have been hearing them for so long that they are painfully unoriginal, particularly since one of my supervisors at UCS used to take an inordinate amount of pleasure in saying, “Morning, Wood!” as loudly as he could every morning when I came in to the office. My typical response was to point out that if that was the case then clearly his wife needed to take care of her job.

Back to the email. As I was writing the email it occurred to me that Morning Wood would be the PERFECT name for a morning show. Scott is convinced that when I combine this with the power of the Beavis, “Boing!” which would be the show’s sounder of choice, I could be personally responsible for the downfall of Western civilization. Move over al-Qaeda 'cause its time for Funky Wood Jam comin' straight atcha with Morning Wood!

Tags: FWJ, MyWorld