To be honest I will probably see all of them at some point, but the movie I am most looking forward to is Live Free or Die Hard, coming to a theater near you on June 17th. The reason this is my number one most anticipated movie of the summer? Bruce Willis.
I am sure you do not need me to tell you that Bruce Willis is the bomb-dot-com, as the kids say, but I am going to it and you're going to like it! From his early days on Moonlighting he has always rocked. He even brings a smile to my face when suffering through the likes of Hudson Hawk, which according to IMDB has some much funnier lines than I remember, or Look Who's Talking Too. On top of all that he hit it with Sarah Jessica Parker, one of my teenage crushes, in the otherwise forgettable Striking Distance. Finally someone has come up with the perfect way to celebrate the manliness that is Bruce Willis, and I don't mean by dropping his ass like a hot potato and shacking up with a kid some sixteen years your junior, but rather a celebration in song:
This is the video for the Guyz Nite song "Die Hard." This song has been stuck in my head ever since Kevin posted it back in April. Blame him.
According to the boys over at Japan Probe, we're not the only ones eager to see more hot John McClane on terrorist bastard action. Japan's own Bruce Willis impersonator Puchi Bruce has been hard at work making Puchi Die Hard. Here he reenacts the scene from Die Hard With a Vengeance wherein our hero is forced to wander the streets of Harlem wearing a sign that says "I hate niggers." Here Puchi puts a twist on it by wandering around Roppongi wearing a sign that says "I hate Gaijin."
Somehow I think it looses something. While remaking this scene from Die Hard 2 Puchi learns two important lessons. First that terrorists have issues with math. Second movie grenades explode after five seconds of hippie time rather than real time.
Finally completing Puchi's trek through the franchise we have him starring in the final stand-off from Die Hard:
At first I thought they had mapped Puchi's head onto Bruce's body. If you look at the beginning of the clip it really looks like Puchi's head is too big for his body. ("He'll be cryin' himself to sleep tonight on his huge pillow.") All in all these things don't look too bad. What is it all leading up to? Why the release of this:
No, wait, lets roll that back and de-Puchify* it:
That's better! My nomination for the most quoted exchange of the summer?
Matt Foster: You just killed a helicopter with a car!
John McClane: I was out of bullets.
And here is the full trailer:
SWEET PILE OF MONKEY NUTS! Was that Silent Bob getting all lippy to John McClane there at the end of the trailer? I think I might have just had a nerd-gasm.
* Puchify! Can I get a witness! AMEN!