Friday, February 03, 2006

Breaking News - 02-03-06

Friday, February 3rd - New York

At a surprise press conference today the UN announced that due to voting irregularities in the House majority leader elections held in the United States House of Representatives on Thursday, they would be deploying observers for future votes held in closed session by the House members of the Republican Party. The reported irregularities center on the allegation, as reported by Ed Henry of CNN, that in the initial round of balloting there were more votes cast than there were members present to cast them. Initial blame fell on Canadian agents, the balloting issues coming so close on the heels of the recent news story in which it was revealed that truckloads of ballots were being smuggled across the border. An anonymous source on Capitol Hill claims that the issue was resolved by ejecting the representatives Florida, pointing out that the second round of balloting, without Florida, came off without a hitch. In response to a pointed question about the necessity of the move Dr. Michael Hunt of the United Nations Electoral Assistance Division said, “Look, Americans may labor under the misguided notion that they invented democracy, and your Jeffersonian democracy may have worked for the past 200-some-odd years, however it has become readily apparent that your system needs some oversight.”

Other stories we are following for you:

Please Note: To the best of the author's knowledge none of this is true, but it is damn funny.

1 comment:

Abram said...

Excellent! They even steal their own elections, don't they?