Thursday, April 06, 2006

Four Color Commentary - Marvel WTF?

I was cruising around Newsarama the other day and stumbled across this little item:
Ten Years Later: Onslaught Reborn

It’s a return that well, let’s be honest, you probably didn’t see coming.

In November, Jeph Loeb and Rob Liefeld will team for a five part, weekly, miniseries that returns to the Heroes Reborn universe, and brings along the villain who got the Heroes Reborn ball rolling.
First off it is time to stop the excessively lame plays on DC’s One Year Later event. Just stop, it has never been amusing and long ago went from yawn-inducting to irritating.

Now that’s out of the way we can cut to the chase here. Liefeld? Seriously who of you out there is buying his stuff? It is clear that someone has to be otherwise Marvel, the house of wise and well thought-out events, would not allow Liefeld any where near the offices. (I am still trying to figure out where he got the naked pictures of Warner Bros upper management with a goat that he parleyed into a two issue arc on Teen Titans last year.) From time to time I will complain about art in comics, but rarely do I find art so off-putting that I will purposely avoid a comic because of a particular artist. You have to be a no talent ass clown of heroic proportions before that will happen. Rob Liefeld is that heroic of a no talent ass clown. Take a look at the following examples I lifted from the Newsarama piece because I am too lazy to dig out the recent Teen Titans issues he did (shudder) or the one issue of Youngblood I have crapping up a longbox somewhere (shudder shudder):

Why does everyone look like they just licked a lemon? Even Iron Man, who is wearing a suit of armor, has a pinched scowl on his face. Then there is the three-hundred plus muscles that are in Cap’s shoulders. What, he is such the super-soldier that he has a case on his stomach and a six-pack on each shoulder?

Please Marvel, I beg of you, don’t follow through with this plan. Let me wake up tomorrow and find out this is Joey Q’s idea of an April Fools joke. That would be funny. In fact, if that’s the case let it stew for a couple of weeks, or at least until Beucoupkevin and The ISB have commented on it, and then reveal the plan is to actually ban Rob Liefeld from comics forever and ever.

Before I managed to do a final polish and get this posted Chris over at 2 Guys Buying Comics took at shot at this in his Fly On the Wall, Vol. 2: Marvel Writer’s Meeting. All I have to say is, DAMN YOU BRUBAKER! Someone should rub your nose in this book when it comes out. Maybe that will teach you to play with the Internet!

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