I think we all know that deep down inside I am not a good person. (And anyone who wants to buy me this shirt is more than welcome too. Remember I wear a 3XL. DAMN THEM! They don't have it any more. Oh well.) I am also pretty sure that we are all aware of my fondness for a bit of the drinking. Therefore it should come as no surprise to any of you that I chuckled a little when I heard Mark Foley was trying to foist the “I have a drinking problem” excuse off on the public as some flimsy defense for his jackass behavior. Seriously, I have been D-R-U-N-K a few times in my life, debilitating so on a couple of occasions. Not once in the depths of my drunkeness has it occurred to me that I would like some of that sweet, sweet underage page.
I agree that people will do dumb things when drunk. Heck, I do SPECTACULARLY dumb things when I am drunk. Ultimately there is a limit to what you will do when drunk. There is an old saying, in vino veritas, which means “in wine there is truth.” This is meant to speak to the effect wine or alcohol has on people’s inhibitions. Taking it a step further it also means that when you do something while you are drunk that thing was already inside you.
Today I read this article and find out that Bob Ney is attempting to use the “I’m a boozehound” smokescreen as well. Is this the new Republican plan? The plan from the people who have for the past several elections held themselves up as the party of traditional values? I know this might not fly in Boston, but my version of traditional values does not include using the excuse “I have a drinking problem” when faced with accusations like sending dirty messages to children or selling my office and integrity to Jack Abramoff.
I know one with any pull in the Republican political machine reads this blog, however I am going to say this anyways. In order to prevent the upcoming election from becoming a rout Republicans need to start standing up and accepting their misdeeds. I have far more respect for a man who will stand in front of me and say, “Yes, I took the money and I knew it was wrong when I did it,” than I do for a man who tries to shuffle the blame around to some other problem. My basic advice to Republicans? Be men. Own your misdeeds and be contrite in public. I think you will find your base much more forgiving than you give the credit for.
Oh well, I meant for this to be funny, not all ranty, so I will close with this quote from the February 28th episode of The Colbert Report:
“Wanna prepare the perfect Truthtini? That’s two parts vodka, no part fact.”