Its Ethan!

Back in the salad days (read: before I tangled with the law and then moved to College Station and turned into a jaded prematurely old fart) I was an almost constant guest at my friend’s duplex which was referred to as the Big Green House. When I wasn’t playing hockey, working, or tending to Gurion, Rob and Amy did an amazing job of putting up with me hanging around the BGH like a little lost puppy and cutting into what I am sure could have been quality nookie time. It was a really cool duplex in one of the cooler parts of town (near Shepherd and Westheimer) and from time to time they would throw awesome little parties. Usually these centered around themed movie nights where we would get together and watch two or three movies that were all thematically linked. The one theme that sticks out in my mind was Gary Oldman is Creepy Night, where we watched The Professional and Romeo is Bleeding, however I know I saw several Coen Brothers films there (including the piece of crap that is Blood Simple), Terry Gilliam’s triology of Time Bandits (childhood), Brazil (adulthood), and The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (old age, and the first movie in which I found Uma Thurman attractive), as well as Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and The Big Bang (which, first, is not a porno, and second, despite that, I highly recommend). There were other, less structured parties as well.

Now that I think about it, the incident I am going to relate must have taken place after I moved to College Station, since Amy’s younger brother, Ethan, was living in the place. Now before I go on I need to tell you a little bit about Ethan. He was a big boy, and I don’t mean fat. I am no petite, feminine flower, and I know how to handle myself, but Ethan is a man I would be scared to tangle with. He was an inch or so taller than me and he was a Rockabilly kind of boy. You know the type that likes to wear white t-shirts, blue jeans with a three inch cuff at the bottom, and big, dark, butt-kicking shoes. Ethan was also known to get a little rowdy and I suspected he could take care of himself when it came time to get to business.

There was this one night where several of us were at the BGH. We had been drinking for some reason or another (as if we ever really need a reason to drink) and Ethan was already more than a couple of beers into the evening when he decided he wanted to get together with his friends at Live Bait, which apparently was his bar at the time. We were sitting around the living room while Ethan tried to cajole one of his friends into coming over and picking him up since Ethan knew he was a little drunk and he did not want to mess up his car (I don’t remember what it was, but I remember it being something cool.) Monty (Ethan’s friend in this episode, according to my sources) was not going along with Ethan’s plans since when Ethan got the booze into him he tended to get rowdy. Ethan was trying to convince Monty that he was not drunk. This went on for a few moments and then suddenly Ethan busted out with, “This isn’t the beer talking, its Ethan!”

Genius. Pure, drunken genius.