Friday, July 15, 2005

Can you smell what the Reich is cookin'?

The other day at work I was discussing "Bowling for Columbine" with my supervisor and one of the other guys in the department. This quickly changed into a discussion about the right to own weapons, and this slowly mutated into a discussion about how brutal war would be if we couldn't use any weapons beyond our fists, etc. I maintained that war would be more like a WWE match and then I was struck by a mental image that had me giggling for the rest of the day. What if WWII was a WWE event? Before the match even starts Germany has stolen France's equipment bag and managed to take Czechoslovakia away from the UK. Meanwhile Japan and China have started fighting backstage. As soon as the bell rings to start the match Germany and Russia check Poland into the Smackdown hotel. Once Germany turns its attention to Norway and the Low Countries they are quickly tossed over the top rope. France, convinced that its new defensive style of wrestling will protect it is caught unawares by Germany and then spends the rest of the match putting itself in a headlock in the corner. Greece manages to wrestle Italy to a standstill until Germany interferes. Germany pounds the UK until Russia distracts them. The US is just standing around, occasionally passing weapons to the UK and China and then suddenly, off of the top rope here comes Japan with a flying body slam! The US is dazed for awhile by that dastardly attack, but eventually gets back in the fight, taking it to Germany and Japan at the same time. Can you imagine all of this action brought to us by Stacker II with commentary by Jerry "The King" Lawler, JR, and the Coach on pay-per-view? I can.

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