Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Coke Machine Rage

I am sure everyone has gone through this at one point in their life or another, however I have to vent. In my office there are three coffee bars on each floor, each of which contains a coke machine. In addition to these 6 coke machines, there are two in the cafeteria, bringing the total for the 284,000 square foot facility to 8. For the past several weeks the coke machine in the coffee bar nearest to my workspace has been out of Dr. Pepper, which is a problem because if I am drinking a soda, 99% of the time it is going to be a Dr. Pepper. Okay, so I would either settle for a Mountain Dew or make the trek to the cafeteria. It really bothers me to go to the machines in the cafeteria during lunch because I am paranoid and I think everyone is looking at me when I go into a room and my back is to them. Now, I have shared all of this so you can put what just happened to me in context. I walked down to the nearest coffee bar to check my mail and get a soda. I pressed the Dr. Pepper button, and to my surprise the machine acknowledged the existence of this life giving nectar. I actually said holy crap, which got me a look from my boss, who was in there getting some coffee. I pointed out that the machine had Dr. Pepper in it again (we had all been complaining about the lack) and that I was going to get one. I fed my dollar into the slot, its one good green eye blinking at me the whole time, and then pressed the Dr. Pepper button. I was so close. I could almost taste the high fructose corn syrup and/or sugar and feel the tingle of the carbonation dancing on my tongue! The machine made its mechanical click as though it has distributed a drink and the two quarters I was to receive in change tumbled down into the little change bin. I waited, sometimes the machine is slow to deliver the soda, to no avail. I got nothing. The little green light by the dollar feed, which had been moments ago joyfully winking at me, was now taunting me, blinking again and again as though to say, "You'll get none and like it, buster!" I didn't know whether I should cry or punch the machine. The git stole my money! And teased me about Dr. Pepper! I cussed something fierce! This of course got me another look from my boss, who was still there. I was so angry at this inanimate object that I said some not too nice things about its parentage and then kicked it. I then took my fifty cents and wandered down to the cafeteria to get a Dr. Pepper while everyone stared at my back.

2 comments:

Margaret said...

I can copmletely identify with rage towards inanimate objects. The computer I'm using up here in Wisco. is at least 10 years old. If I open more than two things at once, it takes it forever for anything to happen. I am the master of restarting and manual shut downs! The best part is that I left my computer in Texas and my roommate doesn't own one. Slap in the forehead.

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