Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Apocoffeelypse

I went to Wal Mart last night with the intention of sotcking up on some emergency essentials like water, canned food, dish soap, and a banana hanger. On the way to the Temple of the Dark Overloard of Consumerism I thought to myself, "James, bottled water is inefficient what you need are the five-gallon water bags that people sometimes use for camping." Fortunately I had one of the Guinness guys in the back of my head saying, "Bags of water? Brilliant!"

When I arrived at Wal Mart I was marginally surprised to see how full the parking lot was, but since I was used to this kind of nonsense at the Bryan Wal Mart, whose parking seems to be full 24-7, I thought nothing of it and stepped into the lion's den. I don't think I have ever seen such a varied cross-section of society all shopping at the same time. There were panic stricken soccer mom's, harassed husbands sent out into the night to forage for supplies, redneck families whose kid's were up past bedtime and a little freaked out by everything. I also discovered in the camping section, which more closely resembled the aftermath of a scouting tragedy, that everyone else had the same birlliant idea. Jerks. While perusing the aftermath of Hurricane Panicked Wal Mart Shopper to see if the hordes had missed anything (they most assuredly hadn't) and if there was anything I forgot to look for (if there had been it was gone) I noticed that all of the shelf space for Coleman gas and accessories was empty. This included the entire six-foot riser allocated to Coleman camping coffee pots. "Ah yes," I thought to myself, "hot coffee is really what I need to make Apocalypse Part Deux bearable."

I did eventually get my water, dish soap, and banana hanger, however I decided that discretion was the better part of valour and chose not to fight the crowd in the canned foods aisle. I have some cans of food at the casa and will do some exploratory shopping later today, but if push comes to shove, I hear roasted cat tastes like chicken.

1 comment:

shannenigans said...

Hey babycakes,

Make sure to stay safe, and come on in to MeatPlant if you get bored.