Cant Quite Get There

I know this will come to a surprise to some of you, but I am not a very good person. For example when I first heard of GMail, I chuckled. Why? Well, fair reader, let me share this aside that took place in my head.

GMail, is it?
As in mail for G’s?
You know, for gansta’s just like me.

Then I thought:

I would like to get me one of these GMail accounts so I too could be a GMail OG.

Yes I know. I need help, but this line of thought got me thinking. And thinking. And thinking. Then I did some more thinking.

I have had a GMail account for a year or so this adds up to a lot of thinking.

Then it came to me. One of those moments where the clouds part and the brilliant light of wit shines down upon me and it clicks.

Well, almost.

In order to combat the clear modern hip-hop sensibilities of GMail someone needs to come up with either a Biz Markie-Mail or Eazy-EMail.

The problem is that I cannot decide which one works better. I have tried them both out on people and so far only one person has gotten the joke.

So here is my question to you: Which works better?