Things that Make Me Chuckle

I have this wonderful little free service called Site Meter which allows me to track all of you knuckleheads who read the Opiate with Big Brother-esque ease (and intent, to be honest, for when the revolution comes and I am named Supreme Ruler you will all reap the benefits of having been my friends in that dark period of history that shall henceforth be known a BJ (Before James)). Besides tracking all of you and telling me where you’re living, Site Meter also lets me know what search terms, if any, were used to find my site. Anyone care to guess the most common search terms I see used to find the Opiate?

If you guessed some combination of the words “opiate,” “of,” “the,” and “masses” give yourself five points. Usually this is combined with “religion” but not always. Every time I see that someone had landed on the Opiate using these words I chuckle. Here they are, a poor, unsuspecting college student (the VAST majority of these hits come from sites with the .edu top-level domain) researching this famous misquote from Karl Marx. If they’re anything like I was in college it is the night before their paper is due and they are struggling to get something done when they stumble across this place.

Poor bastards.

(Okay, I lied on two things. One, I don’t chuckle when this happens, I laugh maniacally and wring my hands. Seems like the sort of personality quirk that will work well once I am named Supreme Ruler. Two, Diana will not reap any benefits except to be exiled to another dimension as I tire of her jokes and name-calling. Sorry RF.)