Thursday, December 01, 2005

Thank You Matt

As some of you may have seen I recently posted a review of Matt Maxwell’s forthcoming comic, Strangeways. Over at his blog Matt discusses the reason the comic is going to be delayed and then linked to my review with the following:

James Wood, not James Woods, reviews it over at Opiate of the Masses

Thank you Matt!

Seriously, you have no idea how many times over the years people have completely hosed my name by adding that extra little ‘S’ on the end. Every time someone does this I kindly point out that there is only one S in my name but inside I am a seething cauldron of fanboy-like rage. I want to rant and scream at the top of my lungs, “There is no S! SPELL MY NAME, BITCHES!” But since I understand how it is an easy mistake to make I let it go. After all, adding the S on the end of Wood lends a nice symmetry to my name since it makes both my first and last names five letters long and ending with the same letter. And oh yeah, there is that James Woods dude that has made one or two movies and is all famous and crap.

There was a period where I considered changing my last name. This idea was quickly discarded because Joe Mama, Anony Moose, and Hey You were not the comic gold I was looking for (Mike Hunt was a close contender I’ll have you know). I even considered just changing my name to an unpronounceable symbol until that micro-maestro Prince beat me to the punch. Besides, as one Michael Bolton said, “No way! Why should I change? He’s the one who sucks!” (Not that I think James Woods sucks, although some of his movies are, as the French say, fromagesque.)

Besides, if I changed my name how would I inflict public embarrassment on my offspring without actually being there? By keeping my last name I can assure some furious blushing from my daughters Holly and Morning Glory, and the inevitable explanations from my sons One, Two, and Three that in fact their father is not a golf fanatic, just a jackass with a sophomoric sense of humor.

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